That must be how the Apostles felt.
Of course, we have the luxury (and it is a luxury) of knowing that tomorrow we will be celebrating with great joy. The Apostles didn't know. They hadn't put everything together: those sayings of Jesus about tearing down the temple and re-building it in three days, the Supper that brought changes to ancient traditions, the horrible day yesterday when everything changed, and nothing seemed good.
It is a long night.
There are saints who've experienced this type of night - we call it the "dark night of the soul" - when God doesn't just seem distant, He seems....gone. It is a spiritual bereavement most of us cannot bear - the idea that our prayers rise only to an empty space, our faith is not simply meaningless, but stupid. It is a night when God is gone, and nothing makes any sense.
Most of us will never experience this type of sorrow and emptiness. Most of us will never know the true darkness that must have descended on the closest followers of Jesus this day. We may catch glimpses of it in our lives, when we are overwhelmed and saddened, but we still feel the consolation of Christ's presence.
|art by Michael O'Brien|