Skip to main content

You CAN have it all, but....

...you just can't have it all at once. 

I read this somewhere along the way in my journey of motherhood, and it's stayed with me.  I was thinking just yesterday, as I was laying out my outfit for work, about all those days spent in dirty jeans and smudged t-shirts.  I remember thinking - then - how much I would love to go out to lunch and have a conversation with an adult.  I dreamed of a place that had carpeting that I didn't have to endlessly clean.

Now, of course, my kids don't "need" me in the same daily way, and I miss that sometimes.  Tallest Son and I realized for one period last week, we didn't see each other for almost three full days, even though we live in the same house!  His job, school and social life keep him away from home more often than not.  No more naps on the couch for me, with one kid snuggled under my arm and one kid snuggled behind my crooked legs while a Disney video played.   Now, I'm running around with spreadsheets, paperwork, requests and phone calls and emails to return. 

When I was growing up, "Ms." magazine came to life, telling a bunch of little girls that marriage didn't matter, careers were everything, being a mom was not a terrific choice, and that we could "have it all".  Of course, my generation grew up and found out that you can't really have it all, at least not all at the same time. 

I wouldn't trade my years as a "stay at home mom" for anything.  They were precious and wonderful, despite the days of drudgery and sticky fingers, the pots and pots of macaroni and cheese and those d*^$ cartoon songs I still can't get out of my head.  And now, I'm just as grateful that I have a job I enjoy, that uses that Master's degree I was able to get before the kids came along, and that my marriage is stable, loving and full of trust.

So, you young mothers, take heart:  you can have it all, but not all at once.

Comments

  1. I about died when I came up to the line "... those d*^$ cartoon songs I still can't get out of my head"! Talk to my sister ... she may not be able to exorcise them, but I'm sure the two of you would have a grand time going over each one!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love comments, even if you don't agree, but please don't leave anonymous posts. A well-mannered reader leaves a name!

Popular posts from this blog

Trying to "end run" God

If you're a football fan, you know what an end run is. From Merriam-Webster:
a football play in which the ballcarrier attempts to run wide around the end of the line We try to "end run" God a lot. I do. I figure I know better. I've got this - no need to worry the Big Guy about such a trivial thing.

Of course, it never works.

Like the puppy above, when we try and evade the tough obstacle (even though we KNOW we will eventually have to do it), we end up - well, off in the bushes.

But oh! How I wished my way worked. I'd love to take a flying leap and land smoothly and gracefully. People would be in awe, as if watching Simone Biles nail a balance beam routine that no one else would even attempt. I would shyly look down and blush - just lightly - and acknowledge (But humbly! Oh so humbly!) my achievement.

But no: I am the one pulling myself out of the bushes, scratches all over my legs and twigs in my hair. I'd hear that gentle but loving voice of God saying, &quo…

Be Transfigured

From today's readings: 

Jesus took Peter, James, and his brother, John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the and his clothes became white as light.

...we possess the prophetic message that is altogether reliable. You will do well to be attentive to it as to a lamp shining in a dark place until day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.

Today we celebrate the Transfiguration. For whatever reason, Jesus brought three of His disciples to Mount Tabor to witness this miracle. They weren't sure what they were seeing, but they knew enough to throw themselves to the ground in the presence of Almighty God. St. Peter (who never did anything halfway) excitedly declares that he will erect tents on the mountain as a way of memorializing the event. But Jesus tells him and the others that they are not to tell people what they witnessed - at least not yet.

In the second reading, the requirement to be quiet has bee…

Crossing Guard

I saw you
today
as you guided
your little man across that busy street.

You were wearing some
big man boots
and
watching cars and lights.

Your little man had on
black sneakers and
a Mickey Mouse hat
that bounced
as he walked.

He wasn't watching nothing but
your big man boots
and
the white stripes of the crosswalk.

Just before
he got to the sidewalk again,
his step bounced a bit
- he hopped over
a spot where the asphalt broke.

You turned to look,
holding out a hand to
your little man.
Not rushed or angry,
just making sure
he got up
on that sidewalk.

Then you walked on,
in your big man boots,
face into a cold Michigan wind,
with the little man behind,
his hat bouncing.