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The Anti-bucket list

As you well know, many people have a "bucket list":  the things they wish to do before they die.  I read recently one writer who was developing an "anti-bucket" list (actually, he called it by a name that starts with "f" and rhymes with "bucket", but my mom reads my blog sometimes, so.....)

I think an anti-bucket list is brilliant.  There are so many things that people have told me I MUST do, SHOULD do, HAVE to do, can't believe I haven't done....and frankly, I don't care. 

Here in part, is my anti-bucket list, and I reserve the right to add to it as I see fit:
  • Learning to drive a stick shift.  Isn't this why the automatic was invented?
  • Eating squid.
  • Sitting through any Adam Sandler movie.  Ditto for Pauly Shore.
  • Any "show on ice".
  • Camping.   I don't like.  I don't want to do it.  Ever.
  • Finishing a bad book.  I used to make myself read an entire book, but frankly, life is too short.  If the author hasn't gotten me in the first chapter or two, I toss it.
  • Same with bad wine.  If it doesn't taste good on the first sip, it is not going to get better.
  • Getting "abs".  It ain't gonna happen.  Yeah, I know there are those commercials on TV where a woman of a "certain age" tells me it can be done.  I just don't wanna.
  • Feeling guilty about my shoes.  Yes, I need all of them.  Yes, I wear all of them.  Yes, I need another pair of black shoes.  (This is directed towards Dear Husband, who is unclear as to why any woman would need more than one pair of black shoes.  Silly man.)
  • Feeling guilty about liking fashion.  Okay, maybe it's a bit shallow, but I like pretty clothes.  I like looking at the creativity of designers. No, it's not rocket science, and I'm okay with that.
  • Never giving a rat's ass about actual rocket science.
  • I don't care about cars.  I don't intend to.  Does it get me from point A to point B safely every day?  Brilliant!
  • I hate fantasy "art".  There.
  • Putting up with bad service.  Recently, I've had a rash of run-ins with service people who think they are comedians.  They were wrong.  I don't wish to be entertained.  Just give me my money back on this item, please.
  • Extreme couponing.  Yeah, I realize I could save a gazillion dollars.  I would also have to give up everything else in my life.  Not a decent trade-off.  Besides, what the hell do you do with 800 toothbrushes??
  • Hosting any party where stuff is sold.  You want me to come to yours, I'm game.  But I'm not gonna host a party to get 20% off jewelry, plastic storage containers, make-up or anything else.  Don't ask.
Okay, your turn!


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