Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Lone Ranger joins the team
I'm working in an environment and in a job that are completely different from anything I've ever done. The biggest challenge for me is that I've always been used to having a lot of autonomy: I make decisions and execute them. With this job, I'm part of a team, and I can't do that. I have to ask a lot of questions, check and re-check things and consider how my actions bounce around with the rest of the team. Even though I've had to learn a TON of new material and topics, this part of the job has been the hardest thing for me. I have to really keep my natural tendencies to take charge in check.
There has never been a team sport that I wished to participate in. I hated group projects in school. While Dear Husband belonged to a fraternity in college, I never had any desire to join a sorority. I am not a team player.
And yet, here I am. On a team. At work. With a bunch of people. Focusing on a common goal. That's a team, right? Not my most comfortable spot.
I thought it would get easier, but so far, not so much. And that's okay. I know that I have some rough edges that God needs to soften, and clearly this tendency to be the Lone Ranger is one of them. Even St. Paul, who was a Lone Ranger himself, saw this: Rather, living the truth in love, we should grow in every way into him who is the head, Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, with the proper functioning of each part, brings about the body’s growth and builds itself up in love. (Eph. 4:15-16)
Clearly, the struggle I have is not being part of a team, but with my own selfish interests and desires. I want to make the decisions AND take the glory. I want to be the center of attention - heck, I want ALL the attention. And that's not how it's supposed to be.
Thus, the Lone Ranger had Tonto, and now I 'm on a team. I'm learning about being joined and supported, my part of the whole and everyone else's, with the goal being not MY proper functioning, but the functioning of the whole team. Maybe I'll become a team player after all. But it's still not going to be easy.