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Oh, sweet humility?

"Molten Humility" - Malik Rahman
Humility does not disturb or disquiet or agitate, however great it may be; it comes with peace, delight, and calm. . . . The pain of genuine humility doesn’t agitate or afflict the soul; rather, this humility expands it and enables it to serve God more.
--St. Teresa of Avila 

It is clear that I am no St. Teresa of Avila.
You remember, in middle or high school, when you knew that everyone was waiting for you to leave the room so they could talk about you?  Or that time when you got reprimanded (warranted or not), in a most ungentle way, in front of others?  That was my day yesterday.

And I gotta admit that, unlike St. Teresa, this agitates and afflicts me.  It feels more like humiliation than humility.  I'm not saying it was - that is just how it feels.

The great Fr. John Hardon, S.J., says this:   
The moral virtue (humility) that keeps a person from reaching beyond himself. It is the virtue that restrains the unruly desire for personal greatness and leads people to an orderly love of themselves based on a true appreciation of their position with respect to God and their neighbors. Religious humility recognizes one's total dependence on God; moral humility recognizes one's creaturely equality with others.

I lay in bed last night wondering if I deserved it, if I was being prideful, if I was making much ado about nothing.  Was I being humiliated, or being humbled?  I'm still not sure.

I do know that it makes me mindful of how I treat others.  I want to try and make sure that I build up and not break down, that I do not disturb or agitate, but try to lead others to that orderly love.  I'm sure I'm not doing that all the time, but at least my treatment at the hands of others yesterday bore this fruit in me.  And that is good.  I guess you could even say it was humbling.



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