Fried, frazzled and frustrated

artist: Jordan Recchia
That describes my emotional and spiritual state right now.

I have had, by all accounts, a horrible couple of weeks.  Let's just run down the list, shall we:

1.  Five teenagers.
2.  Dark-haired daughter, who is bipolar and has been violent in the past, is being ordered by the court to be moved home by Christmas.  Despite all our protestations to the contrary, a bunch of people who HAVE NEVER MET MY daughter, are insisting that this be done.
3.  Talking to a lawyer to see what are options are about #2.
4.  A meeting to make educational plans for Dark-haired daughter, again with people WHO HAVE NEVER MET MY daughter.  They are charged with deciding where she'll go to school if she returns home. Let's just say the list of schools that will take her is....short.
4.  Severe hot flashes (why not?).  These include night sweats, so not a good night sleep in a while.
5.  A stalker.  Yup, that's right:  an honest-to-goodnes-won't-leave-me-alone stalker.  This was a person that I had met on my last job, and this person somehow, some-why got infatuated with me.  Won't leave me alone, calls and calls, send dozens of emails a month, send me gifts, won't give up:  a stalker. 
6.  A visit to the court to get rid of said stalker.  Chunk of out my work day, and my work day is PACKED.

Crap.  (Only, that's not the word I am thinking of.)

Honestly, I'm struggling right now:  tired - no, weary - exhausted, stressed.  Wondering when the heck all this will stop.  Grinding my teeth at night, shoulders hunched over stressed.

It's almost - almost - impossible to pray when I'm like this.  Thanks be to God I'm Catholic:  I have the Liturgy of the Hours, the Psalms, memorized prayers, and  most especially, the Mass.  I just have to immerse myself in that.  I don't have to think:  I just have to pray.  Put myself in God's Presence, and pray.

And this was my prayer this morning:

Give ear to my words, O LORD;
understand my sighing.
Attend to the sound of my cry,
my king and my God!
For to you I will pray, LORD;
in the morning you will hear my voice;
in the morning I will plead before you and wait.
Then all who trust in you will be glad
and forever shout for joy.
You will protect them and those will rejoice in you
who love your name.
For you, LORD, bless the just one;
you surround him with favor like a shield. (from Psalm 5)

I am fried, frazzled and frustrated, but I am not faithless.  

I do need a drink, though......

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love comments, even if you don't agree, but please don't leave anonymous posts. A well-mannered reader leaves a name!

My baby, he wrote me a letter

One of the casualties of our post-modern age is the handwritten letter. Can you remember the last time you received one? We hardly even s...