*Warning: severe whining ahead!*
Cyber Monday came and went. Black Friday? Oh, yeah: we spent $600...on a water pump for our crappy van. $600 that we had to borrow from my mom.
I'm not feeling Christmas.
Yeah, I know: Christmas isn't about gifts and spending money and getting and receiving stuff. But with the glossy catalogs piling up, the coupons pouring into my email box, and the chatter about who wants what, it's hard to get past all that to the Manger.
In my dreams (wild, unimaginable dreams), I'd have a Von Trapp Family Christmas: we'd all be whittling, sewing, crafting and creating our way to thoughtful family gifts. However, my kids are not gonna want hand-hewn Xboxes or ear buds. Trust me on this. And let's be honest: I don't want a crocheted Kindle.
Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I was informed by one child that Dear Husband and I were simply "mismanaging" our money and another child that said child wanted our input on upcoming decisions only "when it was financial". Our rotten finances? Part of it is the rotten economy. Part of it is the rotten pile of smoldering debt we owe the juvenile court system (we're talking tens of thousands of dollars here.....) The crappy van? We got stuck with it after our bipolar daughter stole and totaled the previous model - insurance doesn't cover it when a family member uses the vehicle in the "commission of a crime".
I'm feeling blue and sorry for myself. I want to be able to have the kids open up some truly nice, wished-for things on Christmas day. I want to spend some time picking out just the right gifts for the people in my life, instead of trying to figure out what I can manage on a so-tight-it-can't-breath budget. I want to not have to fill stockings with toothbrushes and deodorant, but with techie gadgets and gift cards.
I'm trying to stay focused on Christ, but it's tough. Frankly, it's shaping up to be a very blue Christmas.
While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.