Wednesday, December 14, 2011
There's a little sticky note on my desk, right next to my computer. It says, "D.B.A.I.", which reminds me: "Don't be an idiot." Despite this, I am still an idiot. I make dumb mistakes, I make non-dumb mistakes, I speak before I think, I leap before I look, I assume I know when I don't. I am an idiot.
I am in good company. I think this is why I so love the Communion of the Saints. They often did dumb things. Look at Peter - first pope, sure, but complete and total dummy. Got three chances to stand up and say, "I'm with Jesus" and blew it each time. Fell into the water when Jesus was standing RIGHT THERE to catch him.
St. Thomas Aquinas: the Dumb Ox. (Okay, maybe he doesn't count as dumb, but I'm throwing him in just because of the nickname.) Solanus Casey was told he was too dumb to hear confessions or say Mass - his job was porter. Same with St. Andre Bessette: he was barely literate, and was considered only good for manual labor.
So, I take small solace in this company of idiots. I am dumb, and I'll be dumb again. Fr. James Martin, S.J., has the perfect prayer for this:
Loving God, you made me who I am.
I praise you and I love you, for I am wonderfully made,
in your own image....
Please God, help me remember my own goodness, which lies in you.
Help me remember my dignity,
which you gave me when I was conceived.
Help me remember that I can live a life of love.
Because you created my heart....
One more thing, God:
Help me remember that nothing is impossible with you,
that you have a way of making things better,
that you can find a way of love for me,
even if I can't see it right now.
Help me remember all these things in the heart you created,
loving God. Amen.