Skip to main content

Saturday sighing....

artist Tara Donovan
Dark-haired Daughter has been home for about 3 weeks now, and we've had our first string of bad days.  Now, when we have bad days, I'm not talking about moodiness and being out-of-sorts; I'm talking about Daughter banging her head against the wall so hard it leaves a fist-sized dent because she is told she can't use the phone.  I'm talking about Daughter threatening to drown herself in a near-by pond.  Bad days.

The worst part for me is the stress it creates for the other kids.  I literally see them shrink.  They flee - anywhere but home is a good place, and that is exactly the opposite of what life is supposed to be.  I haven't been sleeping, so...here I am, up way too early on a Saturday morning (I've spent the last two hours curled up in a chair in the living room, listening to quiet music), and wondering if God hears my prayers.

Listen, God, to my prayer;
do not hide from my pleading;
hear me and give answer.
I rock with grief; I groan
at the uproar of the enemy,
the clamor of the wicked.
They heap trouble upon me,
savagely accuse me.
My heart pounds within me;
death’s terrors fall upon me.
Fear and trembling overwhelm me;
shuddering sweeps over me.
I say, “If only I had wings like a dove
that I might fly away and find rest.
Far away I would flee;
I would stay in the desert. 
“I would soon find a shelter
Selahfrom the raging wind and storm.”  Psalm 55:2-9


Well, the sun will be up soon, and my tea is hot.  I've thrown in a load of laundry and said my Morning Prayers.  Even if I think God does not hear me, I will act as if He does, because He is faithful and true, even when I am tired and wavering.

Comments

  1. Of course he hears your prayers Elise. But, sometimes He knows that we need to wait for His response and that, in waiting, we will find a renewal of strength.
    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i needed that last sentence right in this moment more than i can say...thank you for being a conduit for the Holy Spirit

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so glad you were able to find something here that brings you some comfort and hope.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love comments, even if you don't agree, but please don't leave anonymous posts. A well-mannered reader leaves a name!

Popular posts from this blog

Trying to "end run" God

If you're a football fan, you know what an end run is. From Merriam-Webster:
a football play in which the ballcarrier attempts to run wide around the end of the line We try to "end run" God a lot. I do. I figure I know better. I've got this - no need to worry the Big Guy about such a trivial thing.

Of course, it never works.

Like the puppy above, when we try and evade the tough obstacle (even though we KNOW we will eventually have to do it), we end up - well, off in the bushes.

But oh! How I wished my way worked. I'd love to take a flying leap and land smoothly and gracefully. People would be in awe, as if watching Simone Biles nail a balance beam routine that no one else would even attempt. I would shyly look down and blush - just lightly - and acknowledge (But humbly! Oh so humbly!) my achievement.

But no: I am the one pulling myself out of the bushes, scratches all over my legs and twigs in my hair. I'd hear that gentle but loving voice of God saying, &quo…

Crossing Guard

I saw you
today
as you guided
your little man across that busy street.

You were wearing some
big man boots
and
watching cars and lights.

Your little man had on
black sneakers and
a Mickey Mouse hat
that bounced
as he walked.

He wasn't watching nothing but
your big man boots
and
the white stripes of the crosswalk.

Just before
he got to the sidewalk again,
his step bounced a bit
- he hopped over
a spot where the asphalt broke.

You turned to look,
holding out a hand to
your little man.
Not rushed or angry,
just making sure
he got up
on that sidewalk.

Then you walked on,
in your big man boots,
face into a cold Michigan wind,
with the little man behind,
his hat bouncing.

Be Transfigured

From today's readings: 

Jesus took Peter, James, and his brother, John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the and his clothes became white as light.

...we possess the prophetic message that is altogether reliable. You will do well to be attentive to it as to a lamp shining in a dark place until day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.

Today we celebrate the Transfiguration. For whatever reason, Jesus brought three of His disciples to Mount Tabor to witness this miracle. They weren't sure what they were seeing, but they knew enough to throw themselves to the ground in the presence of Almighty God. St. Peter (who never did anything halfway) excitedly declares that he will erect tents on the mountain as a way of memorializing the event. But Jesus tells him and the others that they are not to tell people what they witnessed - at least not yet.

In the second reading, the requirement to be quiet has bee…