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Saturday sighing....

artist Tara Donovan
Dark-haired Daughter has been home for about 3 weeks now, and we've had our first string of bad days.  Now, when we have bad days, I'm not talking about moodiness and being out-of-sorts; I'm talking about Daughter banging her head against the wall so hard it leaves a fist-sized dent because she is told she can't use the phone.  I'm talking about Daughter threatening to drown herself in a near-by pond.  Bad days.

The worst part for me is the stress it creates for the other kids.  I literally see them shrink.  They flee - anywhere but home is a good place, and that is exactly the opposite of what life is supposed to be.  I haven't been sleeping, so...here I am, up way too early on a Saturday morning (I've spent the last two hours curled up in a chair in the living room, listening to quiet music), and wondering if God hears my prayers.

Listen, God, to my prayer;
do not hide from my pleading;
hear me and give answer.
I rock with grief; I groan
at the uproar of the enemy,
the clamor of the wicked.
They heap trouble upon me,
savagely accuse me.
My heart pounds within me;
death’s terrors fall upon me.
Fear and trembling overwhelm me;
shuddering sweeps over me.
I say, “If only I had wings like a dove
that I might fly away and find rest.
Far away I would flee;
I would stay in the desert. 
“I would soon find a shelter
Selahfrom the raging wind and storm.”  Psalm 55:2-9


Well, the sun will be up soon, and my tea is hot.  I've thrown in a load of laundry and said my Morning Prayers.  Even if I think God does not hear me, I will act as if He does, because He is faithful and true, even when I am tired and wavering.

Comments

  1. Of course he hears your prayers Elise. But, sometimes He knows that we need to wait for His response and that, in waiting, we will find a renewal of strength.
    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i needed that last sentence right in this moment more than i can say...thank you for being a conduit for the Holy Spirit

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm so glad you were able to find something here that brings you some comfort and hope.

    ReplyDelete

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