|"Wood for the Trees" - Natasha Law|
I cannot do it.
I mean, I CAN, I'm just struggling. Part of it is time - it's sort of a big task, and I'm swamped this week. Between taking over a new job at work, trying to get ready for Easter and still nursing a pinched nerve, I'm short on time. But I know that's not everything.
My spiritual journey right now is somewhere in the Dark Forest of Doubt, Anger and Fed-Up. I took a hard left turn back in January when my daughter was assaulted, and now I'm wandering. I'm not lost. I'm not scared. I'm just here. It really doesn't make for a fun-filled "let's show off our spiritual journey" scrapbook for Easter Sunday.
I know; that's not all there is to anyone's spiritual journey. But it's not a lot of fun to celebrate all this when I'm standing here in the deep, dark forest. I keep wondering what Easter morning will be like: will I finally see the sun shine, or will I still be so deep in the forest that the warmth of the sun won't reach down to forest floor? Will the tomb be empty for me, or will I be there, in those dark hours between the Crucifixion and Sunday morning, alone and wondering what is next?
Will there be an alleluia, an amen or just a sigh?