That's what anxiety does to you.
Here's what the Mayo Clinic has to say about anxiety as a clinical diagnosis:
- Constant worrying or obsession about small or large concerns
- Restlessness and feeling keyed up or on edge
- Difficulty concentrating or your mind "going blank"
- Muscle tension or muscle aches
- Trembling, feeling twitchy or being easily startled
- Trouble sleeping
- Sweating, nausea or diarrhea
- Shortness of breath or rapid heartbeat
As a Catholic, this is hard to deal with. My faith tells me to trust in God above all things, but the creeping, prickling vines of anxiety take hold at times. I want to have faith, find consolation in Christ, but it doesn't always happen. I found this from Mother Luisita and it seems most sensible (common sense being something we often forget when it comes to our spiritual lives):
Never separate yourself from Our Lord. He is always giving you proofs of His love for you. He loves you very much and, in return, you should love Him with all of your soul. We have to become very detached from everything else, so that He may be the One to fill our hearts....Peace, it seems to me, is an indispensable factor if we are to have life in our souls. Lack of peace is harmful to you. Try to allow peace to come back to your soul, praying to Our Lord for that grace....As God, He knows everything; talk to Him as you would talk to a Father. Try not to lose God’s peace or His presence. May you receive the consolation that comes from Him alone.(from Catholic Spiritual Direction)
Here's to peace, grace and consolation. May God bless all of us with it.