Skip to main content

"Don't worry; I have everything under control!"

The funny thing about having things under control is that...I don't. I want to. I really do. I want everything to go my way, under my direction, according to my plan.

Huh.

Heather King, a Catholic writer, said that Christ "didn't force or judge, just invited me to do a little better, then put the challenges in my path to teach me how." I am sure Christ did the same for me, but I was too stupid and hard-headed to notice.It has taken this truly horrid bought of depression and anxiety (which I'm still fighting) to get my attention.

There's the "let go and let God" school of thought, and then there's the "God helps those who help themselves" ideal. There must be some balance, but I've always placed all my eggs in the latter basket. Oh, I pray and ask for help, but I don't think I really mean it. I think I mean, "Hey, God: I'm gonna be doing this today. Clear the road for me, okay? Get everybody out of my way so things will turn out the way I want them to. Amen." I'm pretty sure that's not the radical and utter dependence on God that I should be striving for. 

For now, I am daily reminding myself that I DO NOT have everything under control. In fact, I can't even seem to remember to relax my shoulders from moment to moment; I have to keep reminding myself to do it. I can't control the interruptions to my work day, the fact that the puppy stole my shoe (again), that Tallest Son lost five of the ten dollars I gave him on Monday morning. I can't control much.

But I'll keep praying: "God, help me know that you're in control."

Comments

  1. The other day I was lamenting something that I kept trying to control and couldn't. I was praying away at Mass. After Mass, a man came up to me for no reason and said, "I was really thinking about the Serenity Prayer today and wanted to tell you." So here I go trying to have the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's the "wisdom to know the difference" part that keeps getting me hung up!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love comments, even if you don't agree, but please don't leave anonymous posts. A well-mannered reader leaves a name!

Popular posts from this blog

Trying to "end run" God

If you're a football fan, you know what an end run is. From Merriam-Webster:
a football play in which the ballcarrier attempts to run wide around the end of the line We try to "end run" God a lot. I do. I figure I know better. I've got this - no need to worry the Big Guy about such a trivial thing.

Of course, it never works.

Like the puppy above, when we try and evade the tough obstacle (even though we KNOW we will eventually have to do it), we end up - well, off in the bushes.

But oh! How I wished my way worked. I'd love to take a flying leap and land smoothly and gracefully. People would be in awe, as if watching Simone Biles nail a balance beam routine that no one else would even attempt. I would shyly look down and blush - just lightly - and acknowledge (But humbly! Oh so humbly!) my achievement.

But no: I am the one pulling myself out of the bushes, scratches all over my legs and twigs in my hair. I'd hear that gentle but loving voice of God saying, &quo…

Crossing Guard

I saw you
today
as you guided
your little man across that busy street.

You were wearing some
big man boots
and
watching cars and lights.

Your little man had on
black sneakers and
a Mickey Mouse hat
that bounced
as he walked.

He wasn't watching nothing but
your big man boots
and
the white stripes of the crosswalk.

Just before
he got to the sidewalk again,
his step bounced a bit
- he hopped over
a spot where the asphalt broke.

You turned to look,
holding out a hand to
your little man.
Not rushed or angry,
just making sure
he got up
on that sidewalk.

Then you walked on,
in your big man boots,
face into a cold Michigan wind,
with the little man behind,
his hat bouncing.

Be Transfigured

From today's readings: 

Jesus took Peter, James, and his brother, John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the and his clothes became white as light.

...we possess the prophetic message that is altogether reliable. You will do well to be attentive to it as to a lamp shining in a dark place until day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.

Today we celebrate the Transfiguration. For whatever reason, Jesus brought three of His disciples to Mount Tabor to witness this miracle. They weren't sure what they were seeing, but they knew enough to throw themselves to the ground in the presence of Almighty God. St. Peter (who never did anything halfway) excitedly declares that he will erect tents on the mountain as a way of memorializing the event. But Jesus tells him and the others that they are not to tell people what they witnessed - at least not yet.

In the second reading, the requirement to be quiet has bee…