I keep telling myself I'll read that book on spirituality that I started and put down...or that I'll get to Fr. Barron's videos. Maybe spend a bit more time in prayer, especially at night. The Catechism is coming into my inbox every day in readable chunks; as of yet, I've not opened those emails.
So, yeah. Pretty much a fail.
It's like getting halfway through Lent and realizing you've been munching on chocolate every day. Or it's Christmas morning and none of the windows on your Advent calendar ever got opened.
It's not like I NEVER pray. Or that I don't spend time reading a lot of spiritual stuff, but most of that is for work, and I don't think that counts. I teach religious ed., but that's for the kids I teach, not for me. I know that I have not made a concerted effort to really dig into my spiritual life, and that's a fail.
Thankfully, one of my favorite spiritual writers, Henri Nouwen, reminds me that I really haven't failed: “Theological formation is the gradual and often painful discovery of God's incomprehensibility. You can be competent in many things, but you cannot be competent in God.” Now, this isn't an excuse to sit back and say, "Oh, there's no way I can get good at this, so I'll just quit where I'm at and call it good." It is, however, a terrific reminder that I am not going to be perfect at this spiritual life, this friendship with the Divine, this mystery of Love, but I'm going to keep at it. After all, I'm not striving for competency; I'm striving for sainthood.
Time to pick myself up, strap on my Rosary bracelet, and get to work.