Skip to main content

My big fail for the Year of Faith

It's the Year of Faith, as proclaimed by His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI....and thus far, I've failed.

I keep telling myself I'll read that book on spirituality that I started and put down...or that I'll get to Fr. Barron's videos. Maybe spend a bit more time in prayer, especially at night. The Catechism is coming into my inbox every day in readable chunks; as of yet, I've not opened those emails.

So, yeah. Pretty much a fail.

It's like getting halfway through Lent and realizing you've been munching on chocolate every day. Or it's Christmas morning and none of the windows on your Advent calendar ever got opened.

It's not like I NEVER pray. Or that I don't spend time reading a lot of spiritual stuff, but most of that is for work, and I don't think that counts. I teach religious ed., but that's for the kids I teach, not for me. I know that I have not made a concerted effort to really dig into my spiritual life, and that's a fail.

Thankfully, one of my favorite spiritual writers, Henri Nouwen, reminds me that I really haven't failed: “Theological formation is the gradual and often painful discovery of God's incomprehensibility. You can be competent in many things, but you cannot be competent in God.” Now, this isn't an excuse to sit back and say, "Oh, there's no way I can get good at this, so I'll just quit where I'm at and call it good." It is, however, a terrific reminder that I am not going to be perfect at this spiritual life, this friendship with the Divine, this mystery of Love, but I'm going to keep at it. After all, I'm not striving for competency; I'm striving for sainthood.

Time to pick myself up, strap on my Rosary bracelet, and get to work.

Comments

  1. I'm doing the Catechism thing and saving them so I can do it again. Start when you can.

    I was also going to read all the Vatican II documents ... I copied them into a word processing document .... I've been on page 20 of 514 since Dec 15.

    And I was going to do a Fr Barron video every day .... then once a week .... and it's been .... a while since I watched one ... but they're still there and I'll get to them ... just a bit slower.

    Our church has started a lending library of Catholic CD's by Lighthouse Media. And I've been slowly working through those as I drive around.

    Keep going. Most of the year's still ahead!

    Jan Farmer

    ReplyDelete
  2. I did start a book on the Catechism this weekend, and I'm trying!!! to do evening prayers daily. Keep chuggin' along!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love comments, even if you don't agree, but please don't leave anonymous posts. A well-mannered reader leaves a name!

Popular posts from this blog

Trying to "end run" God

If you're a football fan, you know what an end run is. From Merriam-Webster:
a football play in which the ballcarrier attempts to run wide around the end of the line We try to "end run" God a lot. I do. I figure I know better. I've got this - no need to worry the Big Guy about such a trivial thing.

Of course, it never works.

Like the puppy above, when we try and evade the tough obstacle (even though we KNOW we will eventually have to do it), we end up - well, off in the bushes.

But oh! How I wished my way worked. I'd love to take a flying leap and land smoothly and gracefully. People would be in awe, as if watching Simone Biles nail a balance beam routine that no one else would even attempt. I would shyly look down and blush - just lightly - and acknowledge (But humbly! Oh so humbly!) my achievement.

But no: I am the one pulling myself out of the bushes, scratches all over my legs and twigs in my hair. I'd hear that gentle but loving voice of God saying, &quo…

Trauma Mama

Dear Husband and I both enjoy certain medical shows, such as "ER" and "Code Black." ("St. Elsewhere" was another fave!) These shows revolve around trauma: humans who'd been ambushed by life: a car accident, a fire, and abuse, as examples.

More often than not, these shows also highlight the trauma the doctors and nurses needed to deal with. Having a patient die is always offensive to a doctor: they are charged with saving lives and losing one is the ultimate failure. Nurses spend more time with patients, and can forge strong bonds with people that may be in their lives for just a few days.

But trauma doesn't always look like a bloody body being wheeled into an emergency room, or a house surrounded by fire trucks and police cars. Trauma comes in many forms.

According to one website, trauma can look like surgery. It can look like moving. Trauma can be losing a beloved spouse or more horrifying, a child. Trauma can also be chronic pain, loneliness, m…

Be Brave

A few years ago, it came to my attention that a young family member was struggling with anxiety and depression. I was able to share with her a bit of my own struggles, and let her know she wasn't alone.

A few weeks after our talk, I saw the movie, "Brave." It struck me that the young protagonist, Merida, modeled a great quality. She was indeed brave.

Being brave is not about recklessness. It is not about confidence. It's not about being foolish, or looking for glory in the eyes of others.

Bravery is about doing what is right, even when you are a quivering mess. It's about knowing that things may not turn out the way you expected, but forging ahead anyway. Being brave is standing by the hospital bed while a loved one is dying, and all you really want to do is turn back time. Bravery is standing up to a bully, when your legs are screaming for you to run. Brave is doing what needs to be done even when you're scared and tired and feeling helpless and hopeless.

I …