I didn't get any of the music until just before Mass and had little time to practice. Two of the hymns were brand new. I blew it.
Now, I've messed up before and all is well. I did not climb in a hole and weep. But this Sunday was different. It was rather humiliating. I was supposed to be a leader of prayer and instead was a distraction.
I know part of this is my fault. I also know a big part of it was out of my control. Now I'm trying to figure out if I should continue in this role - if I'm not going to be decent at it, but rather a distraction, I shouldn't be doing it. Or am I just reacting to the embarrassment?
Was this a lesson in humility or an episode of humiliation?