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Tragic: Father says he wishes son was never born

I can't think of anything more tragic: a father saying he wishes his son was never born.

Peter Lanza, father of Adam Lanza (otherwise known as the Sandy Hook shooter) told New Yorker Magazine that his son was "evil" and he wished he'd never been born.

Peter Lanza was divorced from Adam's mother, and it appears to me that the mother was in deep denial about her son's mental illness. It is unclear how much contact Peter had with his son following the divorce, but he clearly blames his ex-wife:

“We can’t blame lax gun-control laws, access to mental health treatment, prescription drugs, or video games for Lanza’s terrible killing spree. We can point to a mother who should have been more aware of how sick her son had become and forced treatment.”
How sad. Hindsight is 20-20, and I know first-hand how difficult it can be to fully acknowledge your child's illness. However, no mother in her right mind would put off getting help for a child she suspected of having leukemia or bone cancer. We HAVE to erase the stigma of mental health issues so that more parents do not end up like the Lanzas.

Comments

  1. Raising mentally unwell children is complicated by the fact that at 16 they acquire privacy rights which limit a parent's input into their treatment while leaving them responsible for care and outcomes. So, let's say the child decides not to take his meds, not to leave the house, and not to co-operate (sleep at night, eat healthy foods, take their meds). While all of these things lead to significant disruption to the life of your family, no intervention will be offered until violence erupts (and the child gets arrested), or the child collapses and you can call an ambulance. This is a reality further complicated by the fact that as they are no longer compelled to go to school and they are frequently incapable of working, they are at that point without a structured schedule. There are many parents living in this kind of emotional hostage situation while trying to work and put a brave face on while they go on living. Have they not raised their children well (autism is characterized by non-compliance), couldn't they see it coming (schizophrenia typically onsets at 16)? Adam Lanza's mother is bearing the blame here even though she died at her son's hands.

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