Skip to main content

Tragic: Father says he wishes son was never born

I can't think of anything more tragic: a father saying he wishes his son was never born.

Peter Lanza, father of Adam Lanza (otherwise known as the Sandy Hook shooter) told New Yorker Magazine that his son was "evil" and he wished he'd never been born.

Peter Lanza was divorced from Adam's mother, and it appears to me that the mother was in deep denial about her son's mental illness. It is unclear how much contact Peter had with his son following the divorce, but he clearly blames his ex-wife:

“We can’t blame lax gun-control laws, access to mental health treatment, prescription drugs, or video games for Lanza’s terrible killing spree. We can point to a mother who should have been more aware of how sick her son had become and forced treatment.”
How sad. Hindsight is 20-20, and I know first-hand how difficult it can be to fully acknowledge your child's illness. However, no mother in her right mind would put off getting help for a child she suspected of having leukemia or bone cancer. We HAVE to erase the stigma of mental health issues so that more parents do not end up like the Lanzas.

Comments

  1. Raising mentally unwell children is complicated by the fact that at 16 they acquire privacy rights which limit a parent's input into their treatment while leaving them responsible for care and outcomes. So, let's say the child decides not to take his meds, not to leave the house, and not to co-operate (sleep at night, eat healthy foods, take their meds). While all of these things lead to significant disruption to the life of your family, no intervention will be offered until violence erupts (and the child gets arrested), or the child collapses and you can call an ambulance. This is a reality further complicated by the fact that as they are no longer compelled to go to school and they are frequently incapable of working, they are at that point without a structured schedule. There are many parents living in this kind of emotional hostage situation while trying to work and put a brave face on while they go on living. Have they not raised their children well (autism is characterized by non-compliance), couldn't they see it coming (schizophrenia typically onsets at 16)? Adam Lanza's mother is bearing the blame here even though she died at her son's hands.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love comments, even if you don't agree, but please don't leave anonymous posts. A well-mannered reader leaves a name!

Popular posts from this blog

Trying to "end run" God

If you're a football fan, you know what an end run is. From Merriam-Webster:
a football play in which the ballcarrier attempts to run wide around the end of the line We try to "end run" God a lot. I do. I figure I know better. I've got this - no need to worry the Big Guy about such a trivial thing.

Of course, it never works.

Like the puppy above, when we try and evade the tough obstacle (even though we KNOW we will eventually have to do it), we end up - well, off in the bushes.

But oh! How I wished my way worked. I'd love to take a flying leap and land smoothly and gracefully. People would be in awe, as if watching Simone Biles nail a balance beam routine that no one else would even attempt. I would shyly look down and blush - just lightly - and acknowledge (But humbly! Oh so humbly!) my achievement.

But no: I am the one pulling myself out of the bushes, scratches all over my legs and twigs in my hair. I'd hear that gentle but loving voice of God saying, &quo…

Be Transfigured

From today's readings: 

Jesus took Peter, James, and his brother, John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the and his clothes became white as light.

...we possess the prophetic message that is altogether reliable. You will do well to be attentive to it as to a lamp shining in a dark place until day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.

Today we celebrate the Transfiguration. For whatever reason, Jesus brought three of His disciples to Mount Tabor to witness this miracle. They weren't sure what they were seeing, but they knew enough to throw themselves to the ground in the presence of Almighty God. St. Peter (who never did anything halfway) excitedly declares that he will erect tents on the mountain as a way of memorializing the event. But Jesus tells him and the others that they are not to tell people what they witnessed - at least not yet.

In the second reading, the requirement to be quiet has bee…

Crossing Guard

I saw you
today
as you guided
your little man across that busy street.

You were wearing some
big man boots
and
watching cars and lights.

Your little man had on
black sneakers and
a Mickey Mouse hat
that bounced
as he walked.

He wasn't watching nothing but
your big man boots
and
the white stripes of the crosswalk.

Just before
he got to the sidewalk again,
his step bounced a bit
- he hopped over
a spot where the asphalt broke.

You turned to look,
holding out a hand to
your little man.
Not rushed or angry,
just making sure
he got up
on that sidewalk.

Then you walked on,
in your big man boots,
face into a cold Michigan wind,
with the little man behind,
his hat bouncing.