I checked myself into a psychiatric care program last Tuesday. I've been dealing (very poorly, as it turns out!) with depression and anxiety. It was consuming me, and I needed help. Thanks be to God, we have a tremendous psych hospital in our area, and it was just what I needed.
I thought I was doing things right, and in some cases, I was. But I wasn't caring for myself very well. In fact, I realized I would never treat another soul as badly as I beat myself up. I'm working on that.
I also am working on knowing - really knowing - that my children's choices and decisions are not a reflection of my parenting. As heartbreaking as some of those choices are, have been and will be, they don't mean I was a bad parent. This is a biggy for me: I know someday I'll have to stand in front of God and explain myself. I thought that meant that I was wholly responsible for choices my children make, but of course, that isn't true. They have free will, have been taught right from wrong, and we've modeled as best we can our Catholic faith. The rest is on them.
I would also ask that you keep some people in prayer. There were a couple of young women I met while in the hospital who really touched my heart: Maria, Laura, and Meghan. All three were struggling mightily with deep depression, and all three have such great spirits, sweet hearts - each one. Please say a prayer that they recover well.
I'll be sharing more; May is National Mental Health Month. Let's remember that mental health is important and still very stigmatized. Many people refuse to seek help because of this. Pray that all who need help get it.
Glad to be home!