Skip to main content

Stress, being calm, and handling things


Please don't tell me to take a bath. No, a scented candle is not going to help. I do yoga already. I can't afford to "get away." I "take time for myself."

All the stress is still there.

You see, my house revolves around stress. It's the very essence of our family. Always has been. Right now, I'm dealing with a kid on probation who apparently has NO desire whatsoever to move forward in his life in a positive manner. Whenever I hear a news story about teens being arrested in a break-in, or being involved in an accident, or some other terrible story, I think, "That could be my kid." It might very well be my kid one of these days.

"Lay down the law" you say. It's been done. We're now at the point where we will have to legally evict him from our house if he chooses not to follow the rules. Can you imagine my mother's heart the day that happens? Shattered.

H has all the support in the world. His family, his extended family, friends, church community. But he continues to make poor choices. And I watch. And stress.

I feel weak, and sick. Helpless. Sad. Angry. Hurt. Betrayed.

No bath with candles and soft music is going to help. I'm praying incessantly, but of course, it is all up to the kid. He's the one who has to want to change and then change.

Oh, I'm calm. No, I'm catatonic.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Trying to "end run" God

If you're a football fan, you know what an end run is. From Merriam-Webster:
a football play in which the ballcarrier attempts to run wide around the end of the line We try to "end run" God a lot. I do. I figure I know better. I've got this - no need to worry the Big Guy about such a trivial thing.

Of course, it never works.

Like the puppy above, when we try and evade the tough obstacle (even though we KNOW we will eventually have to do it), we end up - well, off in the bushes.

But oh! How I wished my way worked. I'd love to take a flying leap and land smoothly and gracefully. People would be in awe, as if watching Simone Biles nail a balance beam routine that no one else would even attempt. I would shyly look down and blush - just lightly - and acknowledge (But humbly! Oh so humbly!) my achievement.

But no: I am the one pulling myself out of the bushes, scratches all over my legs and twigs in my hair. I'd hear that gentle but loving voice of God saying, &quo…

Be Transfigured

From today's readings: 

Jesus took Peter, James, and his brother, John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the and his clothes became white as light.

...we possess the prophetic message that is altogether reliable. You will do well to be attentive to it as to a lamp shining in a dark place until day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.

Today we celebrate the Transfiguration. For whatever reason, Jesus brought three of His disciples to Mount Tabor to witness this miracle. They weren't sure what they were seeing, but they knew enough to throw themselves to the ground in the presence of Almighty God. St. Peter (who never did anything halfway) excitedly declares that he will erect tents on the mountain as a way of memorializing the event. But Jesus tells him and the others that they are not to tell people what they witnessed - at least not yet.

In the second reading, the requirement to be quiet has bee…

Be Brave

A few years ago, it came to my attention that a young family member was struggling with anxiety and depression. I was able to share with her a bit of my own struggles, and let her know she wasn't alone.

A few weeks after our talk, I saw the movie, "Brave." It struck me that the young protagonist, Merida, modeled a great quality. She was indeed brave.

Being brave is not about recklessness. It is not about confidence. It's not about being foolish, or looking for glory in the eyes of others.

Bravery is about doing what is right, even when you are a quivering mess. It's about knowing that things may not turn out the way you expected, but forging ahead anyway. Being brave is standing by the hospital bed while a loved one is dying, and all you really want to do is turn back time. Bravery is standing up to a bully, when your legs are screaming for you to run. Brave is doing what needs to be done even when you're scared and tired and feeling helpless and hopeless.

I …