I admit: I never had much of a warm, fuzzy spot for Mother Teresa. I realize she's a holy woman, a saint, and I admired her work while on earth. But, you know how it is: just like we warm up to people here on earth and find our besties, we do the same with saints. I never considered Mother Teresa one of my heavenly besties.
Because of my job (which includes writing a blog post every day and finding good stuff for the company's social media), I've spent a lot of time reading about Mother Teresa, and learning from her directly via her letters and diary.
[Just let me step aside here for a moment and remind you of the world's most frightening prayer, from St. Ignatius of Loyola.]
I know in my head and in my gut that I'm supposed to do God's will. I know that if I choose this, my life will be better than any plans I could come up with. And yet ... I'd still rather do things MY way.
Heal me Lord! I'm in so much pain. Just heal me. I know you can.
Fix my kid, Jesus! He is in so much pain. Lead him to where he needs to go.
Really, God? REALLY? We finally get a little money saved up and the freakin' washing machine dies? Come on!! We are on the same team here!
Jesus, I've done everything you've asked. Could you give me a little something in return for being so good?
Clearly, I am no saint. I hope I'm a saint in progress but I still very much prefer my own plans, ideas and will to God's. There you have it.
Mother Teresa abandoned herself. She left everything behind for Christ. I'm not talking about her family or the Sisters of Loreto, where she had a reasonably comfortable life. No, she abandoned everything of herself. She made herself an empty vessel and begged God to inhabit her.
Our Lord wants me to be a free nun covered with the poverty of the cross. Today, I learned a good lesson. The poverty of the poor must be so hard for them. While looking for a home I walked and walked till my arms and legs ached. I thought how much they must ache in body and soul, looking for a home, food and health. Then, the comfort of Loreto [her former congregation] came to tempt me. ‘You have only to say the word and all that will be yours again,’ the Tempter kept on saying … Of free choice, my God, and out of love for you, I desire to remain and do whatever be your Holy will in my regard. I did not let a single tear come.I am certainly not at the point where I can wholly abandon myself, and I most certainly am not at the point where I won't shed a tear. I pray that Mother Teresa will make it a heavenly mission to pray for those of us who still want things our way and not God's.
Mother Teresa, pray for us!